Surviving the Loss of a Loved One

What to do immediately if a loved one dies

All the planning and decisions that must be made immediately after losing a family member or close friend can be overwhelming. This is a list of issues you may have to face when a loved one dies. The information is provided to help you manage through this process and make informed decisions. Being prepared by having as many details as possible pre-arranged will help ease the stress of this difficult time.

Checklist of Things to do if a loved one dies

  1. Notify family members and close friends
  2. Begin “calling tree” with the help of family and friends.
  3. Contact a funeral director / funeral home
  4. Decide on immediate care of the body.
    If the deceased has made provisions to donate his or her organs, this must be done immediately—before any procedures are carried out on the body. If the entire body has been donated to medical research, it must go to the specified medical center immediately.
    Next, decide whether the body will be embalmed. Embalming is the chemical process that preserves bodies for a short period of time. It is usually done if the family needs time to make arrangements and to travel, if the body has to be transported or if the casket is open for viewing. You do not have to approve this procedure, however, unless your state requires it. In fact, some religions prohibit embalming.
  5. Obtain a death certificate.
    A Death Certificate is a legal document needed to finalize almost every aspect of your loved one’s affairs. In some states, the body can’t be moved without a legal death certificate. You will also need a death certificate to start the probate process and obtain any life insurance benefits.Most funeral directors will obtain the death certificate for you as part of their services. It is a good idea to obtain 10-15 additional copies of the death certificate from your local records division listed in your telephone book under Government and Community Services.
  6. Make funeral arrangements: memorial service, wake, burial plans
    Funeral and memorial services are a very important aspect of the grieving process Keep in mind that memorial services and funerals can be costly. Read more on funeral homes and funeral costs.
  7. Order flowers, acknowledgement cards, programs
  8. Set up memorial donations
  9. Write death notice for newspaper
  10. Gather pictures for memorial/wake

Financial Details Checklist when a loved one dies

Planning financial matters before a death can be tremendouse helpful and ease the stress of this difficult time. Financial planning also ensure that family members receive all the benefits to which they may be entitled.

Some financial matters that need to be taken care of in the event of death include:

  1. Retain a lawyer knowledgeable about estate settlement and inheritance matters.
    If you can afford, retain a lawyer to help with the financial matters in the event of the death of a loved one. Professional advisors can help you review legal documents and your own personal situation.
  2. Contact the Social Security Administration
    (800-772-1213) regarding any Social Security benefits that the deceased may have been receiving and any benefits that you, may be eligible for. Read more on Social Security Death Benefits.
  3. Call your life insurance company to file a death claim
    Notify life insurance company in which the deceased was insured with. Ask for claim forms and instructions on how to file for life insurance benefits and proceeds. To help facilitate this process, life insurance companies likely to need the following information: a statement of claim, with the full name and address of the beneficiary or the person making the claim; a certified death certificate showing the date, place and cause of death; and the actual policy or certificate if available.
  4. Notify your loved one’s employer (if applicable).
    You or other family members may be entitled to benefits.

  5. Submit outstanding medical claims to the proper insurer.
  6. Notify banks at which the deceased had accounts.
  7. Notify creditors.
  8. Determine what taxes are due and file tax returns.
  9. Check for benefits if the deceased served in, or was retired from, the uniformed services.
    Spouse and children may be eligible for certain benefits. For more information, contact the nearest Department of Veterans Affairs (or call 800-827-1000), Military Casualty Assistance or Civil Service offices.

Refer to the Surviving Spouse Checklist to guide you in gathering the information you will need.

Funerals and Funeral Plans:

National Funeral Directors Association
www.nfda.org

National Cemetery Administration (for veterans)
www.cem.va.gov

Cremation Association of North America
www.cremationassociation.org

AARP’s Product Report on Funerals and Burials: Goods and Services
Email to: member@aarp.org

 

Wills, Estate Planning, Trusts, etc.

Wills, Estate Planning, and Probate
www.nolo.com/encyclopedia/ep_ency.thml

Crash Course in Wills and Trusts
www.mtpalermo.com

AARP: Wills and Living Trusts
www.aarp.org/legalsolutions/faqs/wills.html
www.aarp.org/confacts/grandparents/trusts.html

 

Counseling Resources:

AARP: Coping with Grief and Loss
www.aarp.org/griefandloss

Center for Loss and Life Transitions
www.centerforloss.com

Grief Support After the Loss of a Child
www.compassionatefriends.org

Hospice Foundation of America
www.hospicefoundation.org